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do you ever do that thing where you really like someone and you have made out with them and words were said but only when you are both drunk and you used to talk about things that mattered and now you over think things to the point where you just struggle to make them laugh and you just watch really good shows with them and there is always kind of an awkward pause in between episodes because you should be kissing or talking about how everything feels, but you don’t all you do is give them half a hug when you have to go home and think about all the things you could have said while you plan what you are going to wear the next time you see them.  And do you ever get really frustrated at the fact that a lot of other people really want to be with them and you have that chance but you cock block yourself, and get even more mad because a lot of people you know really want to be with you and you have to play koi all the damn time because you are waiting around for yourself to gather up the confidence to follow up his last affair and she was just amazing and so much better then you in literally every way but you can see that you are actually really good for him because you are both just houses of other peoples secrets and he is where i keep mine and he keeps his in me and you are honoured but feel so conflicted and just so frustrated with the whole thing that you make a big angsty post about it on your inactive blog? Me neither that would be crazy.

do you ever do that thing where you look at your boyfriends ex girlfriends profile and just want to melt into a puddle and be sad because she seems perfect and beautiful and from what he has told you about what he likes in girls she is perfect ad you are some idiot with lime green short hair while she is a goddess looking thing with long brown perfect hair and a nice smile and it just kinda feels like your being kicked in the tummy a bunch and it sucks? me neither.


the real struggle in 2004


Yoshitomo Nara